So today I got up and dressed for work as I normally do on a Monday morning. Well, I knew I wasn't feeling that well but I was going to make the best of it, as I normally do because I'm kind of a trooper. Well that attitude slowly went out the door when I pulled up to my first office (remember pharma pays me.) As I was getting my things together, I broke out into a major sweat and a coughing attack; I felt clammy like I just broke a fever. I walked into the office anyway and asked one of the MA's to check my temperature. Just as I suspected a low-grade fever! Out the door I went, called my transplant nurse and well the rest is history- I'm back in the damn hospital! I usually try to give an encouraging word at the end of every blog-- well NOT TODAY! I'm tired, I feel like crap and I'm sick of the poking, sticking and meds. I'm allowed to vent every now and then so there it is and I'm not apologetic about it. I hope I get out of here soon but for now, I'm just waiting for them to assess me. But on a side note...don't I look cute coming to the hospital😜!
My How Time Flies....
So it’s been almost a year since Linus and I have been together (I can’t believe it myself) and it’s been an eventful year. As I look back on the months past it was a rough and bumpy road. I had lost 20 something pounds (and I’m not a big girl at all) I could barely walk on my own, I definitely didn’t’ have an appetite and I had a “Mercedes sign” spread across my stomach (btw that’s still there.) So to say my self-esteem was gone is an understatement. I definitely had days that I couldn’t bear to look in the mirror without crying because I was looking at a person I couldn’t even recognize. The healing process alone was something I wasn’t prepared for but with the help of my mom, dad, sisters and an ex I made it through those times. I always say that when you go through something so traumatic you need a support system. I can definitely say that my family is the best support system one could ask for and a thank you to my ex (he was unfortunately thrown into a situation that was too much to handle.) Like I said, this wasn’t easy for me to go through so I can’t imagine how it could feel to help heal me back to my vibrant self!
But now I’m in month 11 of my transplant and I’m back to work, gained most of my weight back and yes I still have that scar but it’s healing nicely and maybe I’ll be secure enough to put on a two-piece this summer. Now, I’ve only been hospitalized once from stress and CPK levels being too high. You know people don’t understand what stress can do to you but I am a witness that when your body is trying to heal, it needs to do so in a peaceful environment. For me, this means eliminating the people in your life that no longer want to be around, the work that doesn’t seem fulfilling or just simply realizing that sometimes you choose wrong and it's NOTHING worth stressing about because all things work out in the end. I say this because I realized that Linus and my family are the only people that truly want me to be HAPPY. So as I embark on another new chapter in my life with Linus, I’m going to choose a little wiser, relax a lot more and continue to chase HAPPY!