LINUS

So let me officially introduce you to my new partner, life-long companion, Linus. Linus is my new liver by the way, and I'm hoping he likes his new residence at the Crenshaw Resort because we have all the amenities he will need to enjoy his life-long stay. I'm sure you would like to know why the name Linus –well for some odd reason I was thinking about the Peanut Gallery and I remembered that Linus has attachment issues (the blanket and thumb sucking.) So it hit me that I need this new liver to bond with my body and it's already attached so that's just half the battle.

Speaking of battle, I'm still in the ICU and I know nurses are constantly coming in my room for hourly checks. I wish I could remember some of the events that took place after I left the O.R. but that is all a blur to me. All I know is I'm finally alert and awake and can recognize my family in my room. I know my mom and dad have been here non-stop around the clock. I see my sister arrived (she came in the early am) and she is sitting down next to "KJ" talking. I don't remember much, but I do know that I had a bunch of doctors coming in to check on me as well. On my 2nd day in the ICU, I went for a walk with my dad around the hallway. The Transplant Team expects you to walk and move around; it helps with the healing process. After that walk, I was exhausted and the bed was where I was headed. I believe I slept most of the day because that is about all I remember.

On the 3rd day (which was my last day in the ICU) I was feeling better but still tired and heavy (water retention from the meds) so walking was the last thing on my mind. Well, just my luck, the physical therapist was walking in my room and was ready to walk. (I've had previous experience w/ PT in another hospital so I'm just hoping this is a good interaction.) Well, I started out with a walker and went around the hallway – I think the PT was impressed with my progress. I decided to drop the walker off at my room and go for lap 2 without it. I must say I was impressed myself at how well I was moving but was glad to make it back to my room. As I made it back to my room and got comfy in my chair I had a couple of visitors. My mom was already in my room, cleaning of course and Aida had walked in with her coffee in hand. Of course, she needed all the updates so I did my best to fill her in and my mom helped fill in the "blur" moments. Shortly after my high school/college friend, JP arrived and we talked for a while before he had to get back to Delaware for work. My last visitor for the morning was Isha (my friend for over 20 yrs.) It never fails that whenever we are together we still manage to pick right back up regardless of how much time that has passed since we have seen each other. She stayed for a couple of hours and then she headed home to let me get some rest.

I get in my bed to take a much-needed nap (the morning tired me out) and sleep away some pain. I think I slept for a couple of hours because Aisha was walking into my room as I was waking up. It was now the afternoon and I was hungry but still on a liquid diet. (Anybody that knows me knows I love my food and snacks.) I filled Aisha in on the events of the day and the progress I made. She stayed for a couple of hours and then she headed out. My nurse came in my room and informed me and my family that I would be moved from ICU to Tower 8 (the liver transplant floor.)

I guess I'm progressing along! These days are filled with nurses, techs, doctors, family/framily and sleep. I remember some things and some things I don't, but I'm glad I have a good support system to see me through this journey!

Downtime...as told by the guest writer (CGC)

… as she left off… Monique was taken into surgery around 6pm.  I frankly do not know the exact time because when I arrived at the hospital and got to the floor — I had only maybe 15 minutes before she was placed on the stretcher to head to surgery. 

As she stated, in the room on Tower 8, was her Dad who was actually standing outside as I was walking down the hallway to enter her room. Inside the room were the RN and her friend, Aisha. Monique and I locked eyes as I entered and we both had a very apprehensive look.  The RN was talking about how fast everything would move and she let us each have a few brief minutes.  Her older sister, Dineen had called me and she prayed with Monique.  Once the phone call was over, Monique and I hugged, and her Dad told her she was going to sleep and that he would be right there with her.  Monique looked at me and then she ran her hands down my face, as she always does when she feels helpless and needs my “Mommy” support.  We followed the stretcher and took a pic— and off she went!!

I felt soo overwhelmingly lost.  I knew my lil woman was in good hands — hell I had prayed ever since the call came in, getting dressed, and on the drive up.  But still, at that very moment, my world changed — nothing seemed ok.  At that point, we went to the waiting room on the 3rd floor—Aisha, Dad, myself.   Once we got to the waiting room, Aida — Aisha’s twin had arrived and was quite upset— “I missed her. I mean this all happened so fast, had I known, I’d been here sooner.”  She said all of that in one breath and with tears in her eyes.  After that, Dineen arrived looking just as worried as myself.  I was pacing and talking, pacing and talking —- I was also taking texts and phone calls. My brother Juny was texting me for the address and was en route to the hospital as well.  Roughly, a half hour passed, and in walks “KJ.”  I kinda fumbled the introduction, but I managed to introduce everyone.  

I gathered Dineen and Aida and said we are going to say the Lord’s Prayer, so we went to a private area and I started the prayers, but I could not remember it.  Aida then tried to say the prayer and she fumbled— saying, “What is going on.”   Dineen tried and she also fumbled “ what the hell — I say this prayer every day.”  Not sure how we completed the prayer but we did!

Monique’s sister -Michelle called from New Jersey and wanted updates, her dad left to change clothes. Unbeknownst to me, a staff member came and brought blankets and pillows.  Security made several trips to the waiting area, supposedly there is a cut off time for staying in the waiting room, but we were not leaving!  Around 10pm, just around the time her Dad returned, Dineen gave everyone a hug and said she would keep in contact via text.  I told her to let me know when she got home.   Aida was talking about Monique and how she bonded with her and saying how Monique’s spirit/essence is just so inviting and lovable.  She shared how one time Monique was in the hospital and craved donuts and asked Aida to bring her some (probably going against her diet at the time), which she did.  “KJ” got comfortable and went off to sleep.   I told Aida she could leave, but she did not want to leave.  She felt she might miss something, and sure enough, in that next second — the RN came out around 1:30am from the surgery— asked if we were Monique’s family and said her new liver was transplanted and she was doing fine.  He said he was with her from the beginning (once she arrived in the surgery room) and she had him laughing. He told us “she’s a real pleasure—nice funny lady.”  I told him that’s what everyone says!  After that Aida felt it was safe for her to leave. 

Once, Aida left around 2am, the tech came out to get something but asked “are ya”ll here for Crenshaw?”  We said, “yes and he told us, “she’s doing real good, they’re almost finished”.   The same tech came out again, about 15 minutes or so later and told us “she’s doing good and they are suturing her now, it shouldn’t be long.”  Finally, someone else came out and said, “she is finished and the next person(s) coming out would be bringing her out.”  Her Dad and I were already standing by the elevators, so we decided to stay there so we would not miss her.  About 15 minutes went by (approximately 3:06am), we heard the stretcher and people talking, and then we saw her.  I had asked her Dad to snap the picture (as I know she would want one) and I walked over to her and looked at my lil woman laying their sedated, bloated and on a ventilator.  I just wanted to hug and kiss her, but I also felt so immensely proud and in awe of her journey.  I guess it just hit me!  I stayed composed and the staff said “give us a few minutes to get her to ICU and get her situated— then you can come up.” 

Her Dad and I walked around the corner to where “KJ” was sleeping and he was waking up.  I told him that we had just seen Monique (we call her Nique), and she is heading to ICU.  We let him know that we needed to wait a few minutes for them to get her situated.  He said ok.  At around 3:40am we all headed to the ICU. 

Once we were let into the nursing unit, we entered her room 4040. The ICU RN was still getting her together and Nique was starting to wake up slowly.  She would move and peer out one eye— trying to wake up.  She was in restraints, and tubes were flowing from everywhere.  She finally opened her eyes and looked dazed.  She recognized us, but she was still sedated.  Around 4:58 am, she opened her eyes and looked at me and I said,  “Hey”. She was tearing and frustrated, she was moving her arms but knew she did not have a full range of motion.  She would look at us and then fall back to sleep.  She opened her eyes again, but she was frustrated.  She was trying to tell us something but couldn’t because she was still on the ventilator.  She motioned to write.  The RN said, “the patients usually want to write or say some thing but you can’t understand them— too sedated.” But, we gave her the pen and paper anyway, and she wrote – “I’m thirsty.  Drink. Damn it.” She was dry and she wanted the tube out.  The RN explained the tube could not be taken out until she could breathe on her own. Nique kept getting frustrated and was by this time “mean mugging” all of us.  The RN said, “ I don’t think I want to mess with Nique on the outside.” I thought to myself — good observation/judgment on her part. “KJ” left between 5:30 and 6am.  Around 6:30am or so, the doctors came in to check on her and they said they felt comfortable with her being removed from the ventilator machine.  Between 7 and 7:30am the tube was removed.  It was non-stop after that, doctor after doctor, X-ray, Accu-checks, Respiratory tech, etc. 

It seemed like every hour something was being removed from her.  She was still struggling but she was a lil better because she was off the vent!   

LIGHTS OUT...

I get off the elevator on Tower 8 and walk toward the nursing unit feeling nervous and excited. I reach the desk and say "Hi, I'm Monique, the liver transplant patient for Dr. Z." Now, have you ever had someone look at you like you are speaking a foreign language, but you are speaking English just like them? Well, that's how the 3 ladies standing behind the desk looked at me. Finally one said, "You're here for a liver transplant? You don't look like you need a transplant." (I swear I should be a millionaire twice over for all the times I've heard the same comment.)  I just looked and said, "Well…I am." They said are you alone, I said yes but my family will be here shortly.  My nurse, M whisked me off to my room (mind you one of the ladies at the desk is turning in her chair as I walk by in mere amazement) to start prepping me for surgery. 

I get to my room and my nurse tells me everything is going to move really fast so just bare with us because we have to do a lot in a short period of time. Then the commands and questions start. Sign this paper, please. I need to get your vitals. We are going to do an EKG.  Here is your gown and everything needs to come off. At this point, my head is spinning and I'm glad to see Aisha walk through the door. Shortly after she arrived my dad walked in and my nerves were slowly starting to calm. I was just waiting for my mom to get there. I wasn't going down to the O.R. without seeing my mom. As I was about to head to the bathroom to put my gown on, my mom walked into my room. She looked nervous and scared herself, but I was smiling because she made it to the hospital in time. After, I came out of the bathroom I sat on my bed and the nurse told us they were ready for me in the O.R. and transport will be here shortly. It is now about 6 p.m. and a "nice, stretched Bentley pulls up…actually just a good ole hospital stretcher" but you get the point. I lay down, they put the nice little blue bonnet on my head and we roll on down to the elevators. Of course, mom, dad, and Aisha are all following me.  Now, I'm already tearing up and I know my mom is doing the same. My dad is holding it together (at least in front of me) because he's the rock.  Funny thing, Aisha is usually a "rock" too but I look at her and she's wiping away tears. Now, I'm thinking I'm an emotional mess (I'm telling you "Emotional Rollercoaster should have been playing") but Aisha you are usually good in these situations. Well, I look at her and she says "I know MO, I don't know what's wrong with me, " I just looked and said, "come on, not you" and we both laugh. 

The elevator ride was pretty quiet and once the doors opened it was time for us to go our separate ways – at least for 10 hours. Lots of hugs and kisses, some pictures (I might share some of them) and see ya later's were shared and then I was being wheeled behind two double doors. Once, I got to the back I met the team that would take care of me during the surgery. My nurse started my IV, gave me some happy meds to help relax me and the only thing I remember before taking my long nap was someone saying, "spread both your arms out to your sides." LIGHTS OUT! 

APRIL 27th....Anything but a Typical Day!

So it’s April 27th and it’s a routine day of normal activity.  I get up, get dressed, eat some breakfast and decide what errands I need to run for the day. Today, I decide that I need to take my car to the doctor for some TLC! So off to the Mercedes dealership I go to schedule an appointment. At least I have one errand down, and now it’s time to head to the supermarket. I needed to pick up groceries for dinner tonight. My mom put in a request and since she has been taking care of me during my waiting period, I can make her dinner. Now my second errand is done for the day and I’m on my way home. That is until my phone rings and its “KJ” asking me to stop by the job, so off I go for a quick stop. 

Well, this is when everything that was typical about my day turned into a life-changing day! I never leave my phone in the car but I was literally just running into the office for a minute. That minute turned into 30 minutes and boy oh boy so much happened in those 30 minutes.  

As I’m sitting in the office, “KJ’s” phone rings and I could hear my mom on the other end of the phone. She asked him if I was there and I took the phone. As I said hello, she frantically says “Monique, they called and THEY HAVE A LIVER FOR YOU. You have to leave now!” I jumped up and gave “KJ” his phone and said, “I have to go.  I have a liver”! As I started to run out of the office excited, the realization set in that I was about to be cut open and operated on and I lost it. I cried and hysterically fell backwards into “KJ.” I think every emotion hit me all at once- I was happy, worried, grateful but mostly just scared and nervous. I’m not quite sure “KJ” knew what to do because he seemed just as scared and nervous himself.  He asked to drive me home, but I pulled myself together and told him I could do it, and that is what I attempted to do as I drove off.

Once I got in my car I was finally able to look at my phone and I saw that had 16 missed calls and 16 text messages starting at 3.45 pm. I couldn’t even begin to call anyone back because my phone was constantly ringing. The transplant nurse called to ask my whereabouts and ETA to the hospital.  Once I told her where I was, she told me to call and get a police escort for me and my mom, so we could get to the hospital ASAP. We hung up and I called my mom to tell her I was on my way to pick her up, she said, “NO, you have to go straight to the hospital. I’m going to be right behind you.  Just get there!” Next phone call that I received was my dad.  He told me that he was leaving work and would meet me there and to call the police escort number.  Once we hung up, I called the police escort and they informed me that they couldn’t guarantee an escort since I was crossing state lines and already en route. I gave them the year, make, and color of my car and they informed me they would alert the DE and PA police of my car traveling Northbound to Philadelphia.  I’m glad that I called them because my car wasn’t’ stopping for anyone!  As I was driving, all I could think about was I have to get to the hospital and it’s rush hour traffic time. Well, my prayers were answered because on this day there was a clear path and I was able to drive straight through to Philly. 

As I started getting closer, I took a couple of calls from my sister, my doctor/friend Simona, “KJ”, a couple of friends, and the transplant nurse. All asking me how close I am to the hospital. At this point, I would literally be there in about 15 minutes, and I was a nervous wreck.  I decided to call my girlfriend Aisha to see if she was close by and could meet me at the hospital. I wanted someone with so I wouldn’t be there by myself until my mom and dad arrived. Of course, she said she was on her way and that calmed me down some. It’s now about 5:40 p.m. and I pulled up to valet parking, jumped out of the car and headed into the hospital. The transplant nurse called me, and I informed her that I was here and heading up to Tower 8 now.

I’m going to end the story of the beginning of my journey here now because this was a long 2 days, and you can’t give everything away in ONE blog! So stay tuned because this story has just started.